This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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