Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
