Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
