I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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