dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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