Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
did i just pee glitter
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
