This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
