whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
