I need help removing her.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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