And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
