quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
