She is in my trunk
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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