Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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