Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I just found puke in my bra..
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
