I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
