im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
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