he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
we should paint friendship bongs
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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