We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Dignity is for republicans.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
