I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
