im having a threesome with these popsicles
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
