yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
