I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
even my farts smell like vagina
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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