Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
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