we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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