walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
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