you have to choose: penises or morals?
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
