She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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