He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
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