ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
