He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Im part way to drunk.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
