Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize