what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
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He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
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Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
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