so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
