Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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