You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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