how can u be prego again
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize