Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
