One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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