when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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