He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
