Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
