yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
sex in a hospital.. check
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize