Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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