the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
