bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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