omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
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