I heard we made out
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
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