I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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