Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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