even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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