I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
