i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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