This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
