His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
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Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
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