I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
