go do what you do best...puke behind churches
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
PS: I just woke up from my shower
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
so much tequila, so little girl.
Randomize
