i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
