I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
