I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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