Michael Bay diarrhea
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
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