The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
