Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
