whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
she smelled like a LAN party
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
